He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
