i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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