I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
