Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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