You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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