dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
