somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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