the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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