How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Please don't give away my fajitas
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize