She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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