In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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