Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
