hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
where are my pants?
in the oven.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
