is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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