Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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