So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
