dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
