Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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