bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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