I just pynch a tree in the face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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