i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
nutella sex= disaster
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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