There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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