We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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