i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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