Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
