I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
