Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
