Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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