bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
