I think i peed on brittanys purse
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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