My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
