did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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