Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
