Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Someone signed my nipple.
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