He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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