I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
