I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
