Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize