she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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