I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
