Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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