why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
