He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
