and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
