I am puke
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
