So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
