She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
