The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
