but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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