I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
