jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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