if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My bed smells like the plague
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize