it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
