Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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