I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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