I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
