So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
