All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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