My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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