finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
