it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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