I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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