I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I AM VODKA MAN
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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