and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
