let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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