he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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