I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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