In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
