Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
