when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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