just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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