Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
