My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
