At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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