She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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